I debated on whether to write this post or not, but as many of you know we have been blessed with two special needs kiddos in our home.

Our oldest was adopted and our youngest was a surprise baby… in so many ways. I never entertained the idea of abortion for any of my pregnancies and never would, but that’s me.

I don’t want to condemn anyone or throw a ton of pressure or hate towards anyone, but I will share our experience… you can find more stories about our journey with Shyanne here on our blog.

When I was pregnant with Shyanne and went to my first prenatal appointment I was referred to an MFM due to my ‘advanced maternal age’. They did an ultrasound and immediately detected some abnormalities with her brain, heart, and neck area.

I broke down when the tech left to get the doctor because I knew she had seen something and wasn’t telling us. My husband didn’t believe there was any reason to be concerned, but when the doctor came in and repeated the scan he also realized there was something going on.

The doctor asked us to meet in her office. She immediately began to tell us the issues she suspected and offered for us to meet with a genetic counselor ASAP so we could go over our options and schedule ‘the procedure’ as my chances of continuing the pregnancy were very slim in her opinion.

We left her office and walked a few doors down to the genetic counselor. He also began to explain to us all the reasons that we should abort… we had not even had a genetic test at this point!

We assured him that we were up to whatever challenges lay ahead and that abortion was not an option. He scheduled the NIPT test for us so we could learn more about what to expect and also learn the gender of our baby.

Within a week we had the results and the test confirmed the probability of Trisomy 21 and the counselor was completely amazed that I didn’t want to schedule ‘the procedure’ but instead wanted to know the gender so I could have a ‘gender reveal’ for my family.

He even asked me a few times if I understood what he had told me. He also explained that the Trisomy 21 didn’t explain all of the abnormalities that they had seen on the ultrasound.

We had many, many appointments and specialists visits during the pregnancy as it was a very difficult pregnancy for me health wise. At every MFM appointment I was asked if I was ready to schedule ‘the procedure’.

I was told that it would be simple, we could try again in a couple of months, and this was just a rare occurrence that we wouldn’t have to worry about happening again.

I ALWAYS SAID NO! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME!

I left almost every appointment in tears… to make matters harder was that I had to go to appointments alone as we were under pandemic restrictions at the time.

After we learned that she also had Dandy Walker Malformation, a heart condition, and duodenal atresia… I was told that I was being selfish for refusing to have ‘the procedure’.

No one could tell me how our child would be affected by any of the conditions that they weren’t even 100% certain that she had.

We prepared for the worst as we knew there was a chance she wouldn’t even make it to delivery but that was a chance that we felt we had to give her.

We informed ourselves the best we could about her conditions and what to expect… we eventually knew more about all of her conditions than most of our caretakers!

We prepared our home for a baby and we tried to prepare our hearts for that possibility that we might not bring home a baby. We trusted GOD’s plans and HE gave us PEACE.

Our journey has not been easy and it isn’t a journey we would’ve have chosen for ourselves but it has been amazing. We have been blessed to see so many miracles time and time again. This experience has definitely brought us closer to GOD and each other. It has given us a new perspective on life and reminds us not to take even the smallest things for granted.

I realize that not everyone will feel the same way and that’s between them and GOD.

I just want everyone to realize that the doctors can’t predict how your future will look if your child has a special need… they can’t predict that you will deliver a completely ‘healthy’ baby with no complications either.

Even if you feel incapable of caring for a child with special needs or complex medical issues, there are so many people who would be willing to adopt… please spend time researching all of your options before making one that can’t be undone.

Our daughter was not expected to survive birth but she did. She was not expected to be anything more than a ‘vegetable’ (a doctor’s word) and dependent upon machines to live but she isn’t that either.

She is a happy child who had a rough start. She is healthy and active and she has such a big heart. She can light a room and it saddens me to know that so many wanted to snuff out that light before she had a chance to show it off.

She truly is a miracle and we thank GOD every day for our time with her because we know tomorrow isn’t promised.

I don’t condemn anyone for the choices that make even though I may not agree with them but I do think a lot of prayer needs to be done before a decision like this… don’t just depend on the ‘facts’ provided by your doctors and genetic counselors because they don’t know what GOD knows!

If you have made that decision in the past then know that GOD can forgive you… all you need to do is ASK.

May GOD BLESS YOU!