Scripture — Ephesians 6:12 KJV

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Welcome back to 31 Days of Prayer for Estranged Family and Friends—a journey of surrender, healing, forgiveness, and restoration.

Yesterday, we asked God to uproot bitterness from our hearts.

Today, we’re going to look at the person on the other side of that hurt a little differently.

Because when someone has wounded us deeply, it can become very easy to see them as the enemy.

But Ephesians 6:12 reminds us:

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…”

The person you’re praying for is flesh and blood.

And according to Scripture, they are not the true enemy.

When Hurt Changes the Way We See Someone

Estrangement can change the way we remember a person.

Someone we once loved becomes associated with pain.

Their name brings tension.

Their photograph brings sadness.

We begin thinking about everything they did wrong.

And little by little, we can stop seeing a person we love and begin seeing an opponent.

It becomes:

me against them.

My side against their side.

My version against their version.

But what if today we stopped looking across the battlefield at one another and remembered that Scripture points our attention toward a deeper spiritual battle?

Paul says:

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…”

That doesn’t mean people aren’t responsible for their choices.

It doesn’t mean sin doesn’t have consequences.

And it doesn’t mean we should ignore harmful behavior.

But it does mean we should be careful not to turn a person created by God into an enemy we’re determined to defeat.

What If We Prayed Differently?

Think about how our prayers change when we stop seeing the person as the enemy.

Instead of:

“God, show them how wrong they are,”

we begin praying:

“God, protect them from deception.”

Instead of:

“God, make them regret what they did,”

we pray:

“God, bring both of us into truth.”

Instead of:

“God, take my side,”

perhaps we begin praying:

“God, help both of us take Yours.”

That’s a very different prayer.

Because restoration isn’t really about one person defeating the other.

If reconciliation ever comes, we don’t want a winner and a loser.

We want two hearts surrendered to God.

Guard Against Deception in Our Own Hearts

And there’s something else we need to remember.

It’s easy to pray:

“Lord, protect them from deception.”

It’s harder to add:

“And protect me from it too.”

We can be deceived by pride.

By bitterness.

By fear.

By assumptions.

By anger.

By the belief that we know another person’s motives.

That’s why we’ve spent so much of this journey asking God to search our hearts too.

Spiritual warfare isn’t an excuse to blame every relationship problem on something outside ourselves.

Sometimes repentance is needed.

Sometimes forgiveness is needed.

Sometimes boundaries are needed.

Sometimes we simply need to listen better.

So today we’re praying for discernment—not suspicion.

Truth—not accusation.

And healing—not victory over another person.

Returning to Our Garden

Let’s come back to our echinacea and mustard.

The echinacea reminds us of healing.

And healing becomes difficult when we’re continually viewing someone as an enemy.

The mustard reminds us of faith.

Today, maybe mustard-seed faith means believing God can help you see this person through different eyes.

Not ignoring what happened.

Not calling wrong right.

But remembering:

This is still a person God created.

A person with wounds I may not completely understand.

A person who needs grace.

A person who needs truth.

A person who needs God.

Just like I do.

And perhaps today we can stop tending two opposing gardens—mine and theirs—and simply ask God to tend both hearts.

Today’s Action — Change the Label

Take out your journal and write the name of the person you’ve been praying for.

Then notice the words you’ve mentally attached to their name.

Maybe:

Difficult.

Unfair.

Stubborn.

Ungrateful.

Hurtful.

Today, we’re going to replace those labels with something simpler:

“This is someone GOD loves and someone I love too.”

Underneath their name, write:

“__________ is not my enemy. __________ is someone I am called to pray for.”

Then pray three things for them today:

Lord, lead them into truth.

Lord, protect them from evil.

Lord, draw them closer to You.

And then pray those same three things for yourself.

Today’s Prayer

Heavenly FATHER,

Your Word says that we wrestle not against flesh and blood.

So today, help me stop treating __________ as my enemy.

You know the hurt between us.

You know what was done.

You know what was said.

And You know where each of us has been wrong.

Father, bring truth into every place of confusion.

Expose lies and deception.

Protect __________ from spiritual darkness, temptation, bitterness, pride, and anything that would draw them farther from You.

But Father…

protect me from those things too.

Where bitterness has distorted the way I see them, heal me.

Where pride has convinced me that only they need to change, humble me.

Where fear has controlled my actions, give me faith.

Where I have assumed motives I cannot know, give me wisdom.

Help me remember that this person is someone You created and someone You love.

I don’t want to defeat them.

I want both of us to be drawn closer to You.

So instead of asking You to take my side, Father, help me stand on Your side.

Lead us into truth.

Bring repentance wherever repentance is needed.

Bring forgiveness wherever forgiveness is needed.

Protect both of our hearts.

And if restoration is good and according to Your will, remove whatever stands in the way and prepare us to meet one another again with humility, wisdom, truth, and grace.

Give me faith—even if it is only the size of a mustard seed—to believe that You can work in hearts I cannot reach.

In the name of Jesus Christ,

Amen.

Before we finish today, remember:

The echinacea reminds us to pray for healing.

The mustard reminds us to keep the faith.

And Ephesians reminds us:

The person is not the enemy.

So when you’re tempted to replay the battle today, stop and pray instead.

Don’t pray for their defeat.

Pray for their protection.

Pray for truth.