relationships – Page 2 – Pollywog's Place Blog

Would The Real Boaz Please Stand Up?

Published on January 11, 2017January 11, 2017 by Susie @ Pollywog's Place Blog1 Comment

I’ve been reading a lot about Ruth, Naomi, and Boaz. It is one of the most beautiful love stories told in the Bible. It shows how God can use the most tragic of circumstances, the poorest of the poor, and the most humblest people to fulfill His great plans. It shows God’s power and control of our lives, even when we don’t understand what is going on in our lives.

For me, this really hits home. No, I haven’t been widowed, but I am alone. I have been transplanted to a place where I knew almost no one but I am not struggling to get by on a daily basis. Or am I? I do have my struggles but I don’t think they would ever compare to the struggles that Ruth and Naomi faced. Nor do I ever feel that I would be worthy of the blessings that were bestowed upon them.

I do however have hope that there is one out there for me. My ‘Boaz’, if you will. Over the past few months I have met a few men that displayed the character traits of Boaz. I am not talking about men who were rich landowners as I rarely ask about a person’s occupation or income. I am talking about men of integrity and faith. Men that are genuinely kind and give without expecting anything in return. Men that I would consider to be of good moral character and who I would trust to lead my family.

Time and time again I have been let down. There have been various reasons, sometimes they get tired of keeping up the false front, sometimes I may have been to blame in some ways. I know that feelings of rejection can creep up from hurts I’ve had before and affect the way I feel. I do have a hard time trusting people when I’ve opened up my heart to them and they use my weaknesses against me. This is not what my real Boaz would do, he would never want to hurt me or see me hurt. He would want to guard my heart and wipe my tears, not be the cause for them. I still have faith and hope that God is working and I will keep waiting and praying for this man.

I try to pray daily for him even though I don’t know who he is, where he is, or what he is doing. What am I praying for? I pray that he will love God more than anything else and that he will pursue his relationship with God above everything else. I am praying for his health, safety, and protection. I am praying that God will work in his life to help him develop the traits and character qualities, like humility and integrity, that will bring honor and glory to God. I pray that God will guide him to be the leader that I will need him to be. I pray that God will teach him how to love, unconditionally, as he will need to accept my children unconditionally if he is truly my Boaz. I pray that he is successful in whatever he sets his mind to and that God will bring him peace and rest after his hard work. I pray that he is surrounded by friends and family that support him.

I also try to pray that God will shape me and mold me into the person that my Boaz will need me to be. I want to be ready for whenever he comes my way. I pray that God will teach me to be a good help meet. I pray that God will help me to develop the qualities that he will need from me so that I can support and encourage him. I pray that I will be the love of his life, and he will be mine also. I pray that God will give me wisdom and discernment in the choices I am making now that may affect my future. I pray for the strength to overcome any weaknesses I have and that they can be turned into strengths. I pray that I will learn to love unconditionally and accept him for who he is. I pray that God will heal my heart from my past relationships and not allow those feelings to creep into future relationships.

God knows me better than I know myself. He knows my needs and my wants. He knows my strengths and weaknesses. He knows my likes and my dislikes. He knows what I need and when I need it. He shows me glimpses of traits and qualities that my Boaz will have and He gives me hope and encouragement. I trust that He will bring my Boaz along in His perfect timing according to His will and plan for me.

I pray for patience and faith while I am in this state of waiting. I am not actively searching for My Boaz because I know that God will put me where I need to be for him to find me. Who knows maybe he has already found me and God is still working on us before He opens ours eyes to see the plan He has in store for us?

Life in 2016

Published on January 5, 2017January 5, 2017 by Susie @ Pollywog's Place BlogLeave a comment

Reflections of 2016

New Year’s Resolutions

Published on December 31, 2016December 27, 2016 by Susie @ Pollywog's Place Blog3 Comments

I know most of us set goals and make resolutions at the beginning of the year. I know we have the best of intentions when make them but often times we start out strong and then just kinda let our goals fade out of sight. Sometimes we just keep procrastinating on getting started and before we know it the year is gone.

This year I am setting my intentions on becoming a better mother, a better friend, a better steward of my blessings, and a better keeper of the home. I also have other goals like losing weight, being more faithful in my prayers and devotions, and getting our homeschool stuff more organized. Some of these goals are being carried over from last year. I did make progress on them but I know that I still have a long way to go. Many of them are written down in my prayer journal and I try to pray about them on a daily basis.

Here is a quick list intentional goals that I have made, as I know that I must set my mind to wanting to do something and praying that God will lead me and give me the desire and willpower to accomplish things according to His plans for my life.

Create more peaceful routines.
Create routines and activities that help each of my family members to develop and grow in their own unique ways.
Create a place home that is calm, peaceful, and nurturing. A place where everyone who enters can feel safe, loved, and cherished. A place where my friends and family can find rest, comfort, and peace when then need it.
Create a budget and routine that allows me to be a better steward of my blessings.
Create a more dedicated time to prayer and devotions.
Create a better schedule for planning, organizing, and rotating our homeschool activities.
Create a better schedule for my daily workouts. I would like to lose 10-15 pounds.

I know that I must work at each and everyone of these in order for them to be achieved successfully. Some of them will require research and work on my part while others just require me to get motivated.

I have already started on many of them. I have read that it takes 21 days to form a new habit so I wanted to get a little head start on it. I am also reading some books to give m inspiration and ideas to motivate me towards my end goals. I will list these at the end of the post.

When you set your goals try to be as specific as possible and find ways to hold yourself accountable. It is also helpful to break the goals down into short term goals so you can evaluate your progress and make changes as needed to reach your end goal. Be sure to ask your friends and family to help you stay motivated.

Remember that it’s OK if your goals and resolutions change through the year. Sometimes we set unrealistic goals for ourselves and then just quit or throw them out the window because we feel like a failure. Don’t give up, just sit down and revise or rewrite your goals. Life happens, circumstances change, and so many things are beyond our control. Just focus on what you can control and make the best of it.

Books I am currently reading.

Starting Your Day Right: Devotions for Each Morning of the Year

First Light – Women’s Daily Devotional & Journal First Light – Women’s Daily Devotional & Journal

The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming

The Lifegiving Home Experience: A 12-Month Guided Journey

The Organized Homeschool Life: A Week-By-Week Guide to Homeschool Sanity

Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God: A Guide to Developing Your Biblical Potential

Reflections of 2016

Published on December 30, 2016December 30, 2016 by Susie @ Pollywog's Place Blog2 Comments

Can you believe that this year is almost gone? I can’t but I am ready to start 2017 with a fresh, positive, and energized outlook. I know in my heart that this new year will be better than last year. I also know that God has some truly amazing things in store for me and my family. I can’t wait to see what He has planned for us in the upcoming months!

We have been through alot this past year. The year started off really rocky. There had been some nasty rumors and gossip that caused us to leave our church and lose contact with some people. It was also filled with some nasty messages, hateful comments, and posts from people who chose to believe the rumors.

I’ve learned to forgive even if you don’t feel that they deserve forgiveness. Forgiveness lets you move on and heal from the pain.

My oldest daughter finished up boot camp and then DD17 and DS21 took a road trip to Missouri to bring her back home. Then we had a lot planning to do for DD19’s wedding. It was really hard to stay strong for my kids and my family but I refused to let the chaos and nastiness get me down.

I filed for divorce after being separated for nearly 2 years. It was a painful and difficult decision that I prayed a lot over. It was not the outcome I wanted but it was what needed to be done at the time to protect my family and myself from his behaviors and actions. We have come a long way since then and are working to be the best parents we can be to our children.

I am learning to be content in whatever situation I am in and wherever I may be. I will change the things I can change, focus my attention on God, and let Him handle the things I have no control over.

Our family got larger with the additions of a niece and a nephew, both of which I absolutely adore. There was a camping trip where I got to go salt water fishing for the first time and I loved every minute of it. This was a welcome relief prior to the stresses of the wedding where we had last minute changes that threatened to ruin the whole thing. I am pleased to say that it was a success and it is now a beautiful memory for us to cherish.

During those stressful times I found out who my true friends were and became closer to my best friend. She really came through for me when I needed her. I had another friend who also came through and was a lifesaver, quite literally, and he was the calm in my storm on a few occasions.

There was a brief romance where my already tender heart was shredded and ripped apart. This was harder on me than my divorce as it came at me unexpectedly and then it was over without any warning or explanation. I lost someone who I considered to be one of my best friends with the end of that relationship. I know that my questions will continue to go unanswered and I know that there would never be anyway to get back what it was that we had. It still brings tears to my eyes but I do treasure the moments we had.

I am learning that it is much easier not to question God when something happens but rather to embrace it and trust that He knows best.

Then I attempted online dating which I quickly learned wasn’t for me. I did meet a couple of really nice people and I went on a couple of dates but we didn’t really click. I quickly found that dating by text is not for me either. I need to be able to see the person and hear their voice. I want to know that they are not a figment of my imagination. I did make a friend through the dating site and we still text on a semi-regular basis.

We had another camping trip where I took the five kids and myself. It was an adventure that we all enjoyed and thankfully survived. There was moment that I wasn’t sure if I would make it as I had fallen in the river. Luckily I had a life vest on and I was able to stay calm until someone was able to reach me. The crazy thing was that he was able to walk out to me but I was just a little bit too short to reach the bottom.I think I swallowed my yearly quota of river water that day.

I’ve had many more episodes of the gossip mill. There were days and weeks that I felt I should just write a soap opera about my life. I finally realized that the problem wasn’t really with me but with the ones who were starting and spreading the rumors. This was a big turning point for me and the way I handled the stress and drama from those situations. I also had some painful revelations about family and friends.

Then there was the flu bug that hit us around Thanksgiving. I was upset that we were not able to visit with family but fortunately God did give me the strength and supplies to make our own impromptu dinner. I wasn’t able to eat but I made up for that at Christmas dinner with my daughter and son-in-law. That was definitely a dinner to remember as the police showed up twice!

I have learned to be ready to receive a blessing at any moment and any time.

These are just some of the ups and downs of my past year. There have been a lot of firsts like the salt water fishing, a low country boil (I actually had twice this year), and online dating. I can say that I have lived, loved, been loved, and have been truly blessed. Life has taught me a lot about myself, relationships, and God’s will for my life. There have been many surprises, good and bad, but all in all it was a wonderful year.

I hope you can also look back on the past year and see what has happened. Take a moment to reflect on what you’ve experienced and then think about what you want to experience in the 2017. I pray that each and every one of you will be blessed abundantly in the upcoming year. I pray that God will touch your lives and supply your needs, whatever they may be.

December 12, 2016

Published on December 12, 2016December 12, 2016 by Susie @ Pollywog's Place BlogLeave a comment

Good morning! I had intended to write this post about the peaceful mornings but plans changed. I started my day as usual and the kids actually slept in a bit so I was not being hurried to get breakfast ready and on the table.

I sat down with my coffee and reflected on a few things. One of which was yesterday’s sermon about clinging to grace. We need to remember that when times are hard and nothing seems to be going right that we still have grace to carry us through. We need to keep holding fast to the promises that God has given us. He has a plan for us and He knows what we need even we don’t really have a clue.

I have had many a day when I have felt so discouraged and sad. Part of this is due to the fact that I don’t have someone to walk alongside of. Someone to share my little joys with or someone to hold me when I am down. I do miss having someone to hold my hand or the feeling of someone coming up behind me and wrapping their arms around me and holding me tight. I sometimes long to have someone to talk to about my day or being able to listen to someone tell me about their day. I miss having someone to snuggle close to when the nights are cold or when I don’t want to get up in the morning.

I try my best not to dwell on these feelings as I know that God is in control. I know that right now my focus needs to be on Him and the rest will fall into place. He is always there and will never leave me. He knows the innermost thoughts of my heart and all of my desires. He will comfort me like no one else can. I know that if it is in His will for me to have someone beside me He will allow our paths to cross.

So for now I will continue to pray for His wisdom and guidance, not only for myself, but for the one He has chosen for me. I pray that God will bless Him beyond measure and supply all his needs. I pray that He will guide him and protect him and that He will surround Him with people who will encourage him. I pray that God will continue to mold him and shape him into the man God intends him to be.

I don’t know God’s will or His plans for my life but I know that He loves me and only wants the best for me. I also know that a lot of my problems have been because I wasn’t patient enough and didn’t wait for Him to reveal His plan to me. I tried to do things my own way and they didn’t turn out the way I had planned. I’ve made so many mistakes and suffered so many failures.

I pray that God will continue to work in my life and mold me and shape me into the person He wants me to be. I know that He can turn mistakes into miracles and that God has not forgotten about me. I pray that if it is not His will for me to have someone to walk with that He will fill my heart with joy and help me to be content where I am right now.

Right now, I will keep my focus on Him and on the job He has blessed me with as a mother and a keeper of my home. This is an important job that He has placed on me and it is full of responsibilities. My attitude and behavior will influence everyone around me especially my children. God calls us to show His love to all of those around us and I pray that everyone I meet can see how His love overflows from my heart. I pray that everyone around me will always feel loved, welcomed, safe, and comforted when they enter into our home.

Yes, it would be so much easier if I had someone to help me shoulder the many burdens of raising a family and keeping a home but God will give me the strength I need. I don’t really look at my role as a burden as I try to do everything with a servant’s heart because I love my family. So I will try not to be discouraged and I will keep singing His praises because God is so good to me! He has blessed me, an unworthy sinner, and He has loved me and shown me His grace and mercy. So for now I will indeed continue to cling to that grace and allow it to carry me through this difficult part of my journey.