Scripture — Psalm 34:18 KJV
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
Welcome back to 31 Days of Prayer for Estranged Family and Friends—a journey of surrender, healing, forgiveness, and restoration.
Over these first few days, we’ve been doing some difficult heart work.
We’ve placed the person we love into God’s hands.
We’ve practiced trusting what we cannot see.
We’ve asked God to search our hearts.
We’ve begun releasing our need to be right.
And yesterday, we gave God the past—the moments we cannot change and the conversations we cannot redo.
But today, we’re going to do something a little different.
Today, we’re not going to try to fix anything.
We’re not going to analyze what happened.
We’re not going to search for an answer.
Today, we’re simply going to acknowledge something that may be very difficult to say:
I miss them.
Our Scripture today is Psalm 34:18:
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
If your heart is hurting today, this verse is for you.
The Particular Grief of Estrangement
Estrangement carries a very particular kind of grief.
The person you love may still be living.
They may only be a phone call away.
Perhaps you occasionally see photographs of them.
Maybe other people still have a relationship with them.
And yet, they are absent from your life.
That absence can be difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it.
You aren’t only grieving the person.
You’re grieving the relationship.
You’re grieving what was.
And sometimes you’re grieving what you thought would be.
The birthdays you imagined celebrating together.
The holidays.
The grandchildren.
The Sunday dinners.
The ordinary phone calls.
The little moments that don’t seem important until they’re gone.
Sometimes we don’t even miss a particular event.
We simply miss knowing they were there.
When Something Small Brings It All Back
Grief doesn’t always announce itself.
Sometimes it arrives through something incredibly ordinary.
A song.
A photograph.
A favorite meal.
Walking past something in a store that you know they would love.
A memory that suddenly appears while you’re working in the garden.
An empty chair at the table.
A birthday.
A holiday.
Or perhaps you pick up your phone and, just for a moment, forget that you don’t call each other anymore.
And suddenly that familiar ache returns.
If that happens, please don’t mistake grief for failure.
Missing someone doesn’t mean you’ve failed to surrender them to God.
It means you loved them.
Yesterday we gave God the past.
But giving God the past doesn’t mean we stop remembering.
And surrender doesn’t mean we stop caring.
Sometimes surrender simply means allowing ourselves to feel the sadness without allowing the sadness to carry us away.
The Lord Is Near
That’s why today’s Scripture is so precious.
Psalm 34:18 doesn’t say:
“The Lord is disappointed with the brokenhearted.”
It doesn’t say:
“The Lord is waiting for you to stop crying.”
It says:
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart.”
Nigh.
Near.
Close.
There are moments when estrangement can make us feel incredibly alone.
But Scripture tells us that when our hearts are broken, God doesn’t move farther away.
He draws near.
Maybe today you don’t have a long prayer.
Maybe you don’t know what to ask God for anymore.
Perhaps all you can say is:
“Lord, I miss them.”
That’s a prayer too.
God already knows.
You don’t have to explain the entire story every time you come before Him.
Sometimes you can simply sit in His presence and let Him meet you in the ache.
You Can Miss Someone and Still Have Boundaries
There’s something else I think is important to remember.
Missing someone doesn’t necessarily mean you should immediately contact them.
It doesn’t mean every boundary should disappear.
And it doesn’t mean reconciliation is automatically safe or possible right now.
You can miss someone deeply and still recognize that a relationship needs time, healing, repentance, wisdom, or healthy boundaries.
Love and wisdom can exist together.
So if you’re missing someone today, don’t let the emotion automatically decide what you should do next.
Bring the emotion to God first.
Ask Him to lead you.
There may eventually be a time to reach out.
There may be a time to wait.
But today isn’t about deciding that.
Today is simply about letting God meet you where your heart hurts.
Returning to Our Seeds
Let’s come back to our echinacea and mustard.
The echinacea represents healing.
And today we’re remembering that some wounds don’t heal overnight.
If you’ve ever tended a damaged plant, you know that healing can be slow.
You don’t stand over it demanding that it recover.
You give it what it needs.
Water.
Light.
Good soil.
Protection.
And time.
Maybe our hearts need some of that same gentleness.
And then there’s the mustard seed, reminding us of faith.
Today, faith might not look bold.
It might not feel victorious.
Today, faith may simply look like sitting before God with tears in your eyes and saying:
“I don’t understand this, Lord. But I’m still here.”
That is faith too.
Sometimes mustard-seed faith is simply choosing to remain near God while your heart is hurting.
Don’t Rush Past the Grief
Sometimes Christians can feel pressure to hurry toward the hopeful ending.
We want to say:
“God will work it out.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Just have faith.”
But sometimes what a hurting heart needs first is permission to grieve.
Jesus Himself wept.
Grief and faith are not opposites.
You can trust God and still cry.
You can believe in restoration and still acknowledge what has been lost.
You can have faith and still miss someone terribly.
We don’t have to rush through grief to prove that we trust God.
We can invite Him into it.
Today’s Action — Tell God What You Miss
Today I want you to find a quiet place with your journal.
Write your loved one’s name.
Then finish this sentence:
“What I miss most about you is…”
Maybe you miss their laugh.
Their voice.
The way they used to call just to tell you something unimportant.
Maybe you miss cooking together.
Working together.
Sharing holidays.
Perhaps you simply miss being part of their life.
Write whatever comes honestly.
If tears come, let them.
Then underneath what you’ve written, write:
“Lord, thank You for the love that made these memories precious. Please meet me in the place where their absence hurts.”
Today isn’t about solving anything.
It’s simply about bringing your grief into God’s presence.
Today’s Prayer
Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father,
Your Word says,
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart.”
And Father, today my heart hurts.
I miss __________.
You know exactly what I miss about them.
You know the memories that still make me smile.
You know the memories that make me cry.
You know the moments I thought we would share.
The conversations I thought we would have.
The holidays.
The milestones.
And all the ordinary days I never realized I would someday miss.
Father, sometimes their absence feels very heavy.
And I don’t always know what to do with that grief.
So today, I bring it to You.
I don’t want sadness to become bitterness.
I don’t want longing to become desperation.
I don’t want loneliness to make me force a door that needs time.
I simply ask You to meet me here.
Be near to my broken heart.
Comfort me in the places nobody else sees.
And when a memory catches me unexpectedly, remind me that I can bring that moment to You.
Father, thank You for every good memory I have with __________.
Thank You for every moment of laughter.
Every conversation.
Every ordinary day that became precious because we shared it.
And where the memories are painful, bring healing.
Where there is regret, bring grace.
Where there is loneliness, bring Your presence.
And where there is still hope, help me hold that hope with open hands.
I pray for __________ today.
Wherever they are, be near to them too.
Protect them.
Guide them.
Heal the wounds in their heart.
Draw them closer to You.
And if they are hurting too, meet them in that place.
Father, I still desire restoration.
But today I don’t ask You for a timeline.
I simply place this person into Your hands again.
I give You the missing.
I give You the memories.
I give You the tears.
I give You the empty places.
And I trust You to hold what I cannot fix.
Give me mustard-seed faith to believe that even here—in the middle of grief—You are near.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
Closing
Before we finish today, look again at our plants.
The echinacea reminds us that healing takes time.
The mustard reminds us that faith doesn’t always look strong.
Sometimes faith simply says:
“Lord, my heart hurts, but I’m still trusting You.”
And the soil reminds us that even during quiet seasons, roots can still be growing.
So if you miss them today…
you don’t have to hide it.
You don’t have to solve it.
And you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt.
Bring the missing to God.
Let Him meet you there.
Tomorrow, for Day Seven: Stop Striving, we’re going to finish our first week by practicing something that can be especially difficult when we desperately want circumstances to change:
being still and letting God be God.
Until then,
Plant the prayer. Tend your heart. Let God hold your grief. And trust Him with the growth.
And as always,
may your roots grow deep and your spirit stay nourished.
God bless you, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
