Scripture — 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
Welcome back to 31 Days of Prayer for Estranged Family and Friends—a journey of surrender, healing, forgiveness, and restoration.
Yesterday, we talked about putting on the whole armor of God.
We reminded ourselves that we don’t have to fight this battle in our own strength.
And today, we’re going to talk about another battle that often takes place somewhere much quieter:
in our thoughts.
If you’ve experienced estrangement from someone you love, you probably know the questions.
What if they never come back?
What if they never forgive me?
What if we never speak again?
What if I missed my chance?
What if something happens before we reconcile?
Those two little words—“what if”—can carry an enormous amount of fear.
But today’s Scripture reminds us:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
So today, we’re going to begin releasing the “what ifs.”
When Our Minds Try to Write the Ending
One of the hardest things about estrangement is uncertainty.
We don’t know what will happen.
We don’t know when something will change.
And sometimes we don’t even know if something will change.
Our minds don’t particularly like unanswered questions.
So we begin filling in the blanks ourselves.
And usually, fear doesn’t write very hopeful endings.
What if this lasts forever?
What if they’re happier without me?
What if someone is turning them against me?
What if I’ve lost them permanently?
Before long, we’re grieving things that haven’t even happened.
We’re having conversations that haven’t taken place.
We’re experiencing tomorrow’s pain…
today.
But God hasn’t asked us to live tomorrow yet.
He’s given us grace for today.
Fear Is Not the Same as Discernment
Second Timothy tells us:
“God hath not given us the spirit of fear.”
That doesn’t mean we’ll never feel afraid.
Fear is a human emotion.
And sometimes fear alerts us to something that genuinely needs attention.
But there’s a difference between wisely recognizing a concern and allowing fear to govern our lives.
Discernment says:
“There is something here I need to prayerfully address.”
Fear says:
“Something terrible is going to happen, and I have to control everything before it does.”
That’s where the “what ifs” can become dangerous.
They tempt us to act from panic instead of prayer.
Maybe we send the message we know we shouldn’t send.
Maybe we push for an answer.
Maybe we check social media repeatedly.
Maybe we try to get information through other family members.
Maybe we start trying to control circumstances simply because uncertainty feels unbearable.
But fear doesn’t have to make today’s decisions.
Power, Love, and a Sound Mind
I love that Scripture doesn’t only tell us what God hasn’t given us.
It tells us what He has.
Power.
Love.
A sound mind.
So when fear says:
“You have to fix this right now,”
a sound mind can say:
“I can wait for God’s direction.”
When fear says:
“They’re against you,”
love can say:
“I can still pray for them.”
When fear says:
“You’re helpless,”
God reminds us that through Him we have power to choose our response.
Maybe we cannot control the relationship.
But with God’s help, we can choose what we allow to govern our hearts.
Returning to Our Garden
Let’s look again at our echinacea and mustard.
The echinacea reminds us to pray for healing.
And the mustard reminds us to have faith.
Think about that little mustard seed.
When we planted it, we didn’t know exactly what was happening beneath the soil.
We couldn’t see the roots forming.
We couldn’t predict precisely when something would emerge.
And we certainly couldn’t force it.
We had to plant.
Water.
Wait.
And trust.
Imagine if every morning I dug through this pot asking:
“What if it isn’t growing?”
“What if the seed isn’t okay?”
“What if nothing happens?”
Eventually, my fear-driven attempts to check the seed could interfere with the very growth I’m waiting for.
And relationships can be like that.
Sometimes we keep digging into something because uncertainty makes us afraid.
Maybe today God is asking us:
Stop digging.
You’ve planted the prayer.
Let Me tend what you cannot see.
Turn “What If” Into “Even If”
Here’s something I’d like us to practice today.
When your mind says:
“What if?”
try answering with:
“Even if.”
What if nothing changes today?
Even if nothing changes today, God is still with me.
What if I don’t receive the answer I’m hoping for?
Even if I don’t, God will give me wisdom for whatever comes.
What if reconciliation takes longer than I hoped?
Even if it does, I can keep growing while I wait.
What if I cannot control the outcome?
Even if I cannot control it, I know the One who holds me through it.
“Even if” doesn’t guarantee the outcome we want.
It reminds us that our peace doesn’t have to depend upon knowing the outcome.
Today’s Action — Release One “What If”
Take out your journal today and write:
“What am I afraid will happen?”
Be honest.
Write down your biggest “what if.”
Then beneath it write today’s Scripture:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
Now cross out “What if…”
and underneath it write:
“Even if…”
Finish the sentence with something you know to be true about God.
For example:
“Even if I don’t know what tomorrow holds, God will be with me there.”
Then close your journal.
You don’t have to solve tomorrow today.
Today’s Prayer
Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father,
Your Word says:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
Father, You know every “what if” I’ve been carrying.
You know the questions that keep me awake.
You know the endings I’ve imagined.
You know the things I’m afraid might happen.
Today, I bring them to You.
I give You the fear that this relationship will never be restored.
I give You the fear that I’ve lost too much time.
I give You the fear of being misunderstood.
I give You the fear of rejection.
I give You the fear of what tomorrow might bring.
Father, when my mind tries to live in a future that hasn’t happened, bring me back to Your presence today.
Where fear tells me to panic, give me power.
Where hurt tempts me to harden my heart, give me love.
Where anxious thoughts create confusion, give me a sound mind.
Help me recognize the difference between Your wisdom and my fear.
Keep me from forcing doors because I’m afraid they won’t open.
Keep me from digging up seeds because I’m afraid they aren’t growing.
Keep me from trying to control hearts that belong in Your hands.
Today, I place __________ before You again.
You know where they are.
You know what they’re thinking.
You know what they’re carrying.
And You know what I cannot see.
So I release the outcome.
I release the timeline.
I release tomorrow.
And I release every “what if” into Your hands.
Give me faith—even if it is only the size of a mustard seed—to say:
“Even if I don’t know what happens next, I know God will be with me there.”
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
Before we finish today, look again at our garden.
The echinacea reminds us that healing is taking place.
The mustard reminds us that faith can grow even when we cannot see what’s happening beneath the soil.
And today, that soil reminds us:
We don’t have to keep digging for reassurance.
There are things we simply cannot know yet.
So when the “what ifs” come today, remember:
God has not given you the spirit of fear.
He has given you power.
He has given you love.
And He has given you a sound mind.
Turn your “what if” into an “even if.”
And then place tomorrow back into God’s hands.
Plant the prayer. Tend your heart. Release the “what ifs.” Choose faith over fear. And trust God with the growth.
Until tomorrow,
may your roots grow deep and your spirit stay nourished.
God bless you, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
