Scripture — James 4:8 KJV
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”
Welcome back to 31 Days of Prayer for Estranged Family and Friends—a journey of surrender, healing, forgiveness, and restoration.
Today is Day 15.
We’ve reached the halfway point of our journey.
During the first week, we practiced surrender.
During the second week, we asked God to tend the soil of our own hearts.
And now we’re entering a new part of our journey.
We’re going to spend some time intentionally praying for them.
But perhaps not in the way we might expect.
Because when someone we love is estranged from us, one of our deepest prayers is often:
“God, bring them back.”
And that’s an understandable prayer.
But today I want to ask:
What if we prayed for something even more important than their relationship with us?
What if we prayed for their relationship with God?
James 4:8 says:
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.”
So today, instead of beginning with,
“Lord, draw them closer to me,”
we’re going to pray:
“Lord, draw them closer to You.”
Their Relationship With God Matters Most
When we love someone, we naturally want to be part of their life.
We want the phone calls.
The visits.
The conversations.
We want to know what’s happening with them.
And when those things disappear, the absence can hurt deeply.
But there’s a question I’ve been thinking about:
What do I want most for this person?
Do I primarily want them to come back to me?
Or do I want them to walk closely with God—even if I don’t immediately benefit from it?
That’s a difficult heart check.
Because love sometimes has to pray:
“Father, before You restore their relationship with me, restore whatever needs restoring between them and You.”
If they’re already walking closely with God, pray that their faith becomes even deeper.
If they’re struggling, pray that God meets them there.
If they’ve wandered, pray that their heart turns toward Him.
If you don’t know where they stand with God at all, you don’t have to make assumptions.
Simply pray:
“Lord, draw them nearer.”
We Cannot Be Their Holy Spirit
This is also an important place for surrender.
Sometimes when we’re concerned about someone spiritually, we can begin believing it’s our responsibility to change them.
So we send another Scripture.
Another sermon.
Another message.
Another warning.
Maybe those things sometimes have a place.
But we have to remember:
We are not the Holy Spirit.
We cannot convict another person’s heart.
We cannot manufacture repentance.
We cannot force faith.
And we cannot make someone draw near to God.
But we can pray.
We can trust that God knows how to reach places in someone’s heart that our words cannot reach.
Maybe you’ve been trying to say the perfect thing.
Today, perhaps you can stop striving and simply say:
“Holy Spirit, You know how to speak to them better than I do.”
Pray for Them, Not Against Them
And there’s another important shift we can make today.
Sometimes our prayers can quietly become arguments presented to God.
“Lord, show them what they did.”
“Make them realize I was right.”
“Show them how badly they hurt me.”
But remember Day 11:
The person is not the enemy.
So today we’re not praying against them.
We’re praying for them.
“Lord, give them wisdom.”
“Lord, give them peace.”
“Lord, protect their heart.”
“Lord, help them recognize Your voice.”
“Lord, surround them with godly influences.”
“Lord, deepen their hunger for Your Word.”
“Lord, help them know how deeply You love them.”
Notice something beautiful about those prayers:
They don’t require us to know exactly what is happening in their life.
We don’t have to diagnose their spiritual condition.
We simply place them before God.
And Pray the Same Thing for Yourself
James says:
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.”
It’s easy today to focus completely on their relationship with God.
But perhaps we should pray the same prayer for ourselves.
“Father, draw me closer too.”
Because restoration with another person should never become more important than our own walk with God.
Maybe this estrangement has actually revealed places where we’ve depended too heavily upon another person’s love, approval, or presence.
God can use even this painful season to deepen our roots in Him.
So while we’re praying:
“Lord, draw them near,”
we can also pray:
“Draw me near.”
And perhaps, instead of two people desperately trying to find their way back to each other…
we begin picturing two people drawing nearer to God.
And as He tends both hearts, we trust Him with everything else.
Returning to Our Garden
Let’s look again at our echinacea and mustard.
The echinacea reminds us of healing.
The mustard reminds us of faith.
But today, look at the direction these plants are growing.
They’re reaching toward the light.
I can’t force a plant toward the sun by pulling on its stem.
I can give it good soil.
I can water it.
I can place it where light can reach it.
But the plant itself turns toward the light.
And maybe that’s a beautiful picture for today’s prayer.
We cannot pull another person toward God.
But we can pray:
“Father, let Your light reach them wherever they are.”
And then trust Him with the growth.
Today’s Action — Pray for Them Without Mentioning Yourself
Today’s action is a little different.
Set aside five minutes and pray specifically for the person you’re estranged from.
But here’s the challenge:
Don’t ask God for anything concerning their relationship with you.
Not today.
Instead, pray entirely for them and God.
You might pray:
“Lord, draw __________ closer to You.”
“Give them hunger for Your Word.”
“Give them wisdom and discernment.”
“Protect them spiritually.”
“Surround them with people who encourage them toward You.”
“Help them recognize Your voice.”
“Let them know Your love.”
Then write in your journal:
“Father, more than I want them close to me, I want them close to You.”
That may be one of the most loving prayers we pray during these 31 days.
Today’s Prayer
Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father,
Your Word says:
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.”
So today I bring __________ before You.
Father, draw them closer to You.
Wherever they are today, meet them there.
If they already know You and walk closely with You, deepen their faith.
Give them greater hunger for Your Word.
Strengthen their prayer life.
Give them wisdom.
Give them discernment.
Help them recognize Your voice and follow Your leading.
If they are struggling spiritually, strengthen them.
If they are discouraged, comfort them.
If they are confused, lead them into truth.
If they have wandered from You, gently draw their heart home.
If they are carrying wounds I know nothing about, meet them in those places.
Surround them with godly people who will point them toward You.
Protect them from deception.
Protect them from bitterness.
Protect them from anything that would draw their heart farther away from You.
And Father, forgive me for the times I’ve tried to do work that belongs to You.
I cannot convict their heart.
I cannot change them.
I cannot force spiritual growth.
I am not their Holy Spirit.
So today I release that responsibility.
I trust You to speak where I cannot speak.
I trust You to reach where I cannot reach.
I trust You to work where I cannot see.
And Father…
draw me closer too.
Purify my heart.
Deepen my faith.
Give me hunger for Your Word.
Help me recognize Your voice.
Let this season produce deeper roots in my relationship with You.
More than I want __________ to come closer to me, Father, I want them to come closer to You.
And if one day You bring our paths together again, may we meet one another as two people who have both been growing toward the Light.
Give me faith—even if it is only the size of a mustard seed—to entrust their spiritual journey into Your hands.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
Before we finish today, look once more at our garden.
The echinacea reminds us to pray for healing.
The mustard reminds us to have faith.
And today, the plants themselves remind us of something beautiful:
Healthy things grow toward the light.
We cannot pull another person’s heart toward God.
We cannot force spiritual growth.
We cannot make roots deepen.
But we can pray.
And we can trust the Gardener.
So today, release the need to change them.
Release the need to convince them.
And simply pray:
“Father, let Your light reach them wherever they are. Draw them closer to You.”
Plant the prayer. Tend your heart. Pray for their roots. Point toward the Light. And trust God with the growth.
And as always,
may your roots grow deep and your spirit stay nourished.
God bless you, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
